What to Say, Do and Wear at a Funeral

For many people, attending a funeral service is an incredibly difficult and uncomfortable process. The raw emotions and pain at the ceremony can be too much to bear, but knowing what to say, do and wear for a funeral service can help you prepare and ease discomfort.

What to Say

It is often very difficult to know what to say when trying to comfort someone grieving at a funeral service. It is an incredible emotional time for the bereaved, with some finding themselves overwhelmed. It is therefore important to show affection and offer your genuine condolences.

Expressing your sorrow at their passing, and recounting warm remembrances, stories and accomplishments about the deceased are thoughtful ways to offer your condolences.

While it is important to try and comfort those that are grieving, it is equally key to be aware of when your condolences have been gratefully received and acknowledging when someone needs their own space.

What To Do

Make sure you are aware of when the funeral service is scheduled to begin, and ensure that you arrive on time and are not late. Upon arrival at the chapel, follow the funeral director’s instructions, as they will direct you to your seat. Typically, family members sit towards the front, close friends behind them, while acquaintances tend to sit towards the rear.

During and after the ceremony, it is important to be respectful to the bereaved family and friends. Offer your condolences and acknowledge the feeling of the service, avoiding any inappropriate behaviour.

Funerals are emotionally painful for those close to the deceased, but being respectful and offering your sensitive support will be appreciated.

What to Wear

Traditionally, black clothing or dark colours are considered the most appropriate theme at a funeral. While this is still the case, services are now more flexible with the colours worn at a funeral ceremony. Garish, bright colours should be avoided, instead opting for darker tones.

When deciding what to wear to a funeral, however, the most important thing is to respect the wishes of the bereaved. If you are unsure, it is perfectly fine to ask an immediate family member or the funeral director for advice.

As a general rule, funeral attire should be quite formal:

  • Dark suit, smart dress or skirt
  • Shirt or blouse
  • Black or dark coloured shoes
  • Formal coat

If you would like to know more about our funeral director services, please contact us and we will be happy to advise and provide further details.