Writing an obituary for someone you love is a profound responsibility, and one that often arrives when you’re least equipped to take it on. In the immediate aftermath of a loss, finding the words to summarise a whole life can feel overwhelming. At T. Allen Funeral Service, we’ve supported many families through this task, and we hope this gentle guide helps make it feel a little more manageable.
What Is an Obituary?
An obituary is a written notice announcing that someone has passed away, usually including details of their life and information about the funeral service. It serves several purposes: informing the wider community of the death, celebrating the person’s life, and providing practical details for those who wish to attend the service or pay their respects. Obituaries traditionally appear in local newspapers, though increasingly they’re published online too.
Starting With the Essentials
Every obituary includes certain core information. Begin with the person’s full name, age, and the town where they lived. State that they have passed away, and you may choose to include the date and, if the family wishes, the cause. Some families prefer to keep this private, which is entirely acceptable.
From there, include the key biographical facts: where and when they were born, significant life events, their career, and the family members who survive them. It’s also customary to mention those who passed away before them, particularly spouses, parents, or children.
Capturing Their Character
The factual details form the skeleton, but it’s the personal touches that bring an obituary to life. This is your opportunity to convey who the person truly was. What were they passionate about? What hobbies, achievements, or quirks defined them? Did they have a famous catchphrase, a beloved garden, a lifelong devotion to a football team?
Don’t feel an obituary must be solemn throughout. A touch of warmth or gentle humour often captures a personality far better than formal language. Readers should finish the obituary feeling they understood something genuine about the person.
Practical Funeral Details
Conclude with the practical information readers need: the date, time, and location of the funeral service. If the family has requested donations to a particular charity in lieu of flowers, state this clearly along with how to give. If the service is private, you can simply note that a private service will be held.
Tips for the Writing Process
Don’t try to write it all at once. Jot down memories and facts as they come to you, then shape them gradually. Ask other family members to contribute their recollections, as they’ll often remember details you’ve overlooked. Read it aloud to check it flows naturally, and don’t be afraid to keep it simple. Most obituaries are between 200 and 400 words.
Finally, ask someone you trust to check it before publication, both for accuracy and for any names or dates that need confirming.
We’re Here to Help
At T. Allen Funeral Service, we can guide you through writing and placing an obituary, including advising on local newspaper requirements and deadlines. Whether you’d like help structuring your words or simply reassurance that you’ve captured your loved one well, we’re always happy to support you through this meaningful task.